Scripture Squiggle: Doctrine and Covenants 63:9-10

"But, behold, faith cometh not by signs, but signs follow those that believe.
Yea, signs come by faith, not by the will of men, nor as they please, but by the will of God."


Signs follow those who believe.  This is, of course, the reason that Laman and Lemuel were not converted when the angel appeared to them.  They were shown a sign, but they didn't have any faith.  But what about Alma the younger and the sons of Mosiah?  They, too, were given a sign without first having faith, but they believed and repented of their sins.

In completing our Sunday school reading for this week, my husband and I read the account of the angel appearing to Laman and Lemuel and their subsequent continued murmurings.  Then, the very next morning, my personal reading happened to be the account of Alma and his brethren.  A very stark contrast indeed.

Naturally, I wanted to know what the difference was.  Why did the appearance of an angel convert some but not others?  Before I could learn that, I had to see the similarities:

• Laman and Lemuel, as well as Alma were sinners.  Alma was described as being "a wicked and idolatrous man" while Laman and Lemuel were compared to the Jews in Jerusalem who sought Lehi's life.  Those people were so wicked that the city of Jerusalem was fast approaching destruction.
• Both angelic appearances were in response to persecution.  Laman and Lemuel were persecuting their younger brothers for wanting to keep the Lord's commandments, and Alma and his brethren were persecuting those who belonged to the church of God, attempting to draw them away.
• Both angelic appearances were in response to some one's faith.  In Laman and Lemuel's case, the faith that brought the angel was that of Nephi as he tried to do his best to obey the commandments the Lord had given him through his father.  For Alma and the sons of Mosiah, it was the faith of Alma's father and the members of the church that brought about the angel's visit.
• Both parties were given specific instruction.  Laman and Lemuel were told to return to Jerusalem and Laban would be delivered into their hands.  Alma and his brethren were told to stop persecuting the church of God.
• The angels came to teach them something.  The angel reaffirmed to Laman and Lemuel that their brother was chosen to rule over them, because of their iniquities.  To Alma and the sons of Mosiah, the angel came to convince them of the power and authority of God.
• Everyone involved was well instructed in the gospel.  Laman and Lemuel were frequently counseled by their prophet-father.  Alma was also the son of a prophet, as were Mosiah's sons.  None of them lacked for knowledge about the Lord.

Although there were differences in the messages delivered by the angels, the main difference in the occurrences is how the people who saw the angels reacted.  

According to Nephi's account, Laman and Lemuel didn't react with any shock or surprise when they saw the angel.  The angel's visit didn't ease their anger toward their brothers, although they did stop hitting them with the rod.  In fact, their reaction was a very worldly, natural man response.  They questioned the Lord's power.  How could God possibly deliver Laban to them?  He was so powerful he could slay fifty people.  They had no faith.

Laman and Lemuel's reaction was also one of hard heartedness.  They had been taught on numerous occasions, yet they rejected what they were given, refusing to look inward and recognize their wrong doings.  This angelic visit was no different.  They didn't want to return to Jerusalem.  They continued to murmur as they followed Nephi back, perhaps they hoped that since Laban could slay fifty, that maybe he would slay their brother for them.

Alma and the sons of Mosiah, however, had a different reaction.  First, they were shocked to see and hear the angel, so shocked that they fell to the earth.  And they listened.  They actually heard the words of the angel and let it change them, let it remind them of the teachings they had received from their fathers.  The change wasn't easy, as Alma records.  He suffered pains so great that he actually wished that he did not exist.  But he allowed his experiences to soften his heart, rather than harden it as Laman and Lemuel did.

I hope I can follow Alma's example, and react to chastisements from the Lord with a soft heart and recognize the need to change.

Scripture Squiggle: Mark 9:24

"And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief."

I've always struggled with the meaning of this scripture. Does he believe or doesn't he? We're always told that doubt and faith cannot coexist, so he must either have the belief or the unbelief, not both.

He had to have some faith, because Jesus healed the man's son. So that brings us back to the question: what does this scripture mean?

In a religion class at BYU I learned some interesting things about obedience--especially the difference between blind obedience and intellectual obedience. Blind obedience is obedience because the prophet or someone we trust told us to do it. Intellectual obedience is obedience based on our own knowledge that we should do something, not just because the prophet said it.

This knowledge only occurs after prayer and study.

Maybe the same idea can be applied to the question of belief. Recently I struggled with something that I wanted very much. I prayed hard and long that this thing might be granted to me. I believed, like the afflicted child's father, that the Lord had the power to give me my desire. But, oh help my unbelief! I doubted that the Lord wanted to give it to me.

My thoughts are that blind faith would be faith in the Lord's ability to work miracles, but lacking an understanding of His will. Intellectual faith would be faith based on the Lord's matchless power as well as His will, which is revealed through the Holy Ghost. We must, therefore, study and pray, learning to feel and be guided by the spirit, so that our belief is directed at what the Lord has in store for us.

I think a beautiful example of both blind faith and intellectual faith can be found in the experiences of Alma and Amulek in the city of Ammonihah. The two men watch in horror as the people of Ammonihah put to death the families of the believers. In agony, Amulek turns to Alma and asks, "How can we witness this awful scene? Therefore let us stretch forth our hands, and exercise the power of God which is in us, and save them from the flames."

Amulek knew the Lord had the power to save the innocent from their suffering. What he had not yet learned, was to recognize the spirit, which could help him to know the will of the Lord. Alma, on the other hand, had plenty of experience with the spirit and recognized its guiding influence.

He told Amulek, "The Spirit constraineth me that I must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord recieveth them up unto himself, in glory; and he doth suffer that they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their hearts, that the judgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just..."

Alma knew the Lord could free the people, but his faith was intellectual, based on what was in agreement with the Lord's will as revealed to him by the spirit.

I believe. But I need to increase my receptiveness to the spirit so that I may know when my desires are in harmony with what the Lord has in mind, so that I can exercise my faith to its fullest.

Scripture Sguiggle: 3 Nephi 14:7

"Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."

Sounds easy enough, doesn't it? All you have to do is ask, seek or knock and you get whatever it is that you need. All of the scriptures on prayer make it seem so easy. You have faith, you pray, you get an answer. Simple.

Not so simple. My husband and I have been praying for months for an answer to something we feel is very important, but an answer is not forthcoming. Sometimes we think we get an answer--then we start to question it. Is this coming from me because it's what I want? How do we know the answer comes from the Lord and not ourselves? How do we know Satan isn't planting ideas in our minds--he can be tricky like that?

I suppose that's why the Lord tells us that it is important to be like little children. Not like my toddler and preschooler who tear through the house like cyclones, but like my nine year old who was afraid she'd have to drop craft club because of her grades, so she fasted and prayed last fast Sunday that she could improve her grade. Guess what? She's still in the club.

As we get older, we learn a lot more about how the world works; we learn Santa doesn't really exist, magic is all about illusion, and unicorns are only a myth. These worldly truths make believing in the miracles of the Lord difficult sometimes. But the Lord has given us a more wondrous gift than we could ever have hoped to get from Santa Claus. The gift of his Son should mean far more to us than any earthly gift we've ever received. What could be more magical than the power of the priesthood in our lives? The priesthood can do so much more than pull a rabbit out of a hat--what about curing illnesses and healing hearts? And unicorns--maybe someday I'll be privileged to create a world where horned and winged horses play.

So, as my husband and I seek for an answer, maybe our solution is to become more childlike, and in doing so we will find the answer we need.

Scripture Squiggle: Moroni 7:33

"And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me."

This verse is short and simple yet so meaningful. Faith is the key to unlocking the power of God in our lives. The Lord often asks us to do things that seem hard, maybe even impossible, but at the same time, He provides us with the power to accomplish them. I think what I love most about this verse is that Christ doesn't just say that our faith will empower us in the "big" things, but that faith gives us "power to do whatsoever thing" the Lord has asked us to do--whether that thing is a big thing like saving a life, or a small thing like overcoming dreadful shyness to give a talk in church.

Fictional Story: Ether 12:4

(Based on true events)

Audra sat in her rocking chair, the envelope on her lap. The sun danced across her face, in and out, as the scattered clouds hurried toward the mountains. She didn't realize she was crying until a tear dropped onto the envelope; she quickly brushed it away. I never imagined it would be like this. My last child leaving home--my oldest daughter's basement--and me alone.

Her glance moved from the envelope to the framed picture on the small table at her side. Picking it up, she held it to her breast. Oh, Rayce, this isn't how we planned it back then. She set the picture down, remembering how everything in 1946 had been perfect--a nice house, their first child, a baby girl, joining the family, Rayce earning a good paycheck. Life was everything she had ever wanted--except for the fear that it would all end.

When the missionaries came to her door, Audra found the peace she was looking for. She knew her family could last forever. But with the truth, came trials: more children than we had house, a teen pregnancy, financial struggles, and then... Audra shook her head. And then I lost you, Rayce, with our youngest barely three years old.

Looking back down at the envelope in her lap, Audra sighed. It was easier when we faced the hard times together. I know this is the right thing to do; I just have no idea how I'm going to do it. Audra slowly removed the letter and read it again. What had her daughter said when she brought in the mail yesterday and handed her the envelope? 'Surely the Lord will send him to one of the least expensive missions--He knows you're struggles.'

Chad had opened his mission call later that night when he got home from playing basketball with some friends. "Japan?" He looked at his mother and cocked his head.

Audra had smiled at him and patted his hand. "I'm sure you'll fit right in."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure the country is crawling with 6 foot 3 blue-eyed blondes!"

They had talked for nearly an hour before Chad finally decided to go to bed. He was filled with excitement and joy at his opportunity to serve the Lord. Audra had said nothing about the cost.

She refolded the letter and returned it to its envelope. "Japan?" she asked quietly. "One of the most expensive missions? How can I ever afford to send him there, Lord?" Just as she was about to yield to her overwhelming desire to sob, she heard a voice, so much like Rayce's, whisper, "Search the scriptures, Audra; they've never failed you before."

Audra found her Book of Mormon and randomly opened it. Her eyes were drawn to a verse highlighted in red pencil: "And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."

As she read, Audra cried, not sobbing tears of despair, but quiet tears of gratitude. This is definitely a trial of my faith. But the Lord has never failed me; always he has been at my side, guiding me and uplifting me, anchoring me to the truth. It may not be easy, but I know somehow we'll make it.

Scripture Squiggle: Alma 33:23

"And now, my brethren, I desire that ye shall plant this word in your hearts, and as it beginneth to swell even so nourish it by your faith. And behold, it will become a tree, springing up in you unto everlasting life. And then may God grant unto you that your burdens may be light, through the joy of his Son. And even all this can ye do if ye will. Amen."

I love Alma's comparison of the word of God to a seed. Working as a ward missionary the past few months, I have found great joy in seeing those who have accepted the gospel grow in their faith and testimony. As they nourish their tender roots in the gospel, they are growing stronger, stretching out and reaching for more light and knowledge. The trials and experiences that they were having before they joined the Church have not disappeared, but as Alma promised, their burdens have become lighter because of their hope in Christ.

We all need to remember to nourish our testimonies to keep them alive and flourishing, for our testimonies will sustain us when life is darkest.